Oh, my silicon darling the trials and tribulations of the year just past are now over, for you have been released from the stuttering performance of that version “.0” operating system by the grace of a “.1” upgrade. Once again there is joy in your interface, in the bright icons that grace your desktop, and in a workflow uninterrupted by random undocumented behaviors.
You, my dear, have shown great tolerance in the face of adversity; it is not every CPU that can walk through that valley of darkness, where coding is more the cacophonous output of an infinite number of monkeys than the deliberations of the talented, and emerge unscathed into the light of an odd-numbered release, so that we may once again work together in the fullness of stability.
Now you are of the blessed once more, guaranteed secure from the malevolence lurking out in the ether, cleansed of the detritus of incompatibilities, inefficiencies and inelegance. For you, the phrase “new and improved” has risen above mere marketing hype and having met with the cold light reality found it to quite to its liking. You have been reincarnated in the image of lithe, alluring machine of your youth; resplendent in the pure sex appeal of an efficient CPU and bountiful simplicity of a pair of OEM disks – no aftermarket enhancements for you.
While it was always an unspoken secret between us, I am glad that I no longer have to fib when I say “no, your OS does not make your CPU run like bloatware.” We both know that our relationship is a long term commitment, but it is a relief to see you in a slimmer OS, one that celebrates your utility rather than trying to force you into the features of a younger generation of technology.
So let us celebrate, nay revel in, this renaissance for we both know that there is a “.2” version lurking in our future.
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